Do you ever...
....just want to throw the towel in and give up? More specifically - do you ever wonder why the hell someone did not tell you before you became a grown up, a mother, a wife that it would be hard. Not just hard, but want to run away, join a convent, feel like becoming an alcoholic so super duper hard???
I remember dreaming of my life as a grown up when I was a child. I had these grand illusions of how wonderful it would be, and how I would furnish my home, how many children I'd have, what kind of car I'd drive, who I'd marry - and now I have all that. And I can't help but wonder - Is this it? I've accomplished all my goals in life. (Okay, not ALL of them - I still want to become a skinny race car driver!)
I've always had the next goal to work for, and I am feeling a little lost not knowing where my life is going now that's I've attained everything I wanted. Sounds selfish, I know. And there are those who do not have all I do, and I KNOW I should be thankful - don't get me wrong I am!! I am just feeling a little lost! I always feel like I need something to look forward to, something to make the hard times a little more bearable knowing a reward was just around the corner...
When I was in Kindergarten, I couldn't wait to be in Junior High.
When I was in Junior High, I couldn't wait to get to High School and drive.
When I was in High School (and driving), I couldn't wait to have my own place.
When I had my own apartment, I couldn't wait to get married.
When I got married, I couldn't wait to go to own a home.
When I got our first condo, I couldn't wait to have a career.
When I got a career, I couldn't wait to have a baby.
When I had a baby, I couldn't wait to have a house.
When I got a house, I couldn't wait to have a second child.
When I had a second child.........
So there I am, wondering what comes next. I have to do some deep soul searching and decide what I want next in life.
I remember dreaming of my life as a grown up when I was a child. I had these grand illusions of how wonderful it would be, and how I would furnish my home, how many children I'd have, what kind of car I'd drive, who I'd marry - and now I have all that. And I can't help but wonder - Is this it? I've accomplished all my goals in life. (Okay, not ALL of them - I still want to become a skinny race car driver!)
I've always had the next goal to work for, and I am feeling a little lost not knowing where my life is going now that's I've attained everything I wanted. Sounds selfish, I know. And there are those who do not have all I do, and I KNOW I should be thankful - don't get me wrong I am!! I am just feeling a little lost! I always feel like I need something to look forward to, something to make the hard times a little more bearable knowing a reward was just around the corner...
When I was in Kindergarten, I couldn't wait to be in Junior High.
When I was in Junior High, I couldn't wait to get to High School and drive.
When I was in High School (and driving), I couldn't wait to have my own place.
When I had my own apartment, I couldn't wait to get married.
When I got married, I couldn't wait to go to own a home.
When I got our first condo, I couldn't wait to have a career.
When I got a career, I couldn't wait to have a baby.
When I had a baby, I couldn't wait to have a house.
When I got a house, I couldn't wait to have a second child.
When I had a second child.........
So there I am, wondering what comes next. I have to do some deep soul searching and decide what I want next in life.
posted by Dallas at
9/08/2009 08:16:00 p.m.
3 Comments:
Grandchildren??!? Potty training Blake?
What about goals for travel with just your husband or your whole family? My parents always wanted to take Craig and I to Europe. They kept putting it off and putting it off. Then my mom got sick. After she got a clean bill of health - they decided to take us to Europe. Put it all on the credit card and made it happen.
You do have a pretty great life. An awesome husband and incredible children.
By
Keltie, At
10:40 a.m.
You can't wait to be a grandma :)
By
MrsD07, At
5:19 a.m.
I can relate on that lost feeling. Like you, I have great things in my life, and some not so great, but I always feel like something is missing, like I was meant for something much bigger.....but what is it? I hope you find it, whether it's a mission, or just acceptance...
By
Leanne, At
12:59 p.m.
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