....just want to throw the towel in and give up? More specifically - do you ever wonder why the hell someone did not tell you before you became a grown up, a mother, a wife that it would be hard. Not just hard, but want to run away, join a convent, feel like becoming an alcoholic so super duper hard???
I remember dreaming of my life as a grown up when I was a child. I had these grand illusions of how wonderful it would be, and how I would furnish my home, how many children I'd have, what kind of car I'd drive, who I'd marry - and now I have all that. And I can't help but wonder -
Is this it? I've accomplished all my goals in life. (Okay, not ALL of them - I still want to become a skinny race car driver!)
I've always had the next goal to work for, and I am feeling a little lost not knowing where my life is going now that's I've attained everything I wanted. Sounds selfish, I know. And there are those who do not have all I do, and I KNOW I should be thankful - don't get me wrong I am!! I am just feeling a little lost! I always feel like I need something to look forward to, something to make the hard times a little more bearable knowing a reward was just around the corner...
When I was in Kindergarten, I couldn't wait to be in Junior High.
When I was in Junior High, I couldn't wait to get to High School and drive.
When I was in High School (and driving), I couldn't wait to have my own place.
When I had my own apartment, I couldn't wait to get married.
When I got married, I couldn't wait to go to own a home.
When I got our first condo, I couldn't wait to have a career.
When I got a career, I couldn't wait to have a baby.
When I had a baby, I couldn't wait to have a house.
When I got a house, I couldn't wait to have a second child.
When I had a second child.........
So there I am, wondering what comes next. I have to do some deep soul searching and decide what I want next in life.